Random thoughts

I'm pretty sure if I remember correctly, I was always fairly insecure about myself when I was in high school. And I'm sure it's partly due to the fact that he never looked at me in the way he looked at most of the girls we worked it. Now I know that was for the best, but I just never felt pretty enough or "good" enough for him. And by good I mean I wasn't what he was looking for. James has done a lot to improve my self esteem as far as he is concerned. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me exactly the way I am. Even all the things that I personally don't like about myself are things that he doesn't care about in the least. But I was thinking about if my life were different and I found myself single and I was actually given another opportunity to have him in my life, I would definitely be reverting back to my insecurities. Small chested, flabby stomach, ass issues, snoring, etc. I think with all those things I feel insecure about, I would never feel comfortable enough around him to be totally intimate and, even if he seemed totally into me and said all the things that I wanted to hear. And that makes me kind of sad. I need to improve this about myself.... not that I'll ever be intimate with him, but if I can't even be comfortable with him in my fantasies then somethings wrong, lol.